lollapa-loserville

okay, so the lollapalooza festival has been trying for years to recreate what it once was back in the early ninties... back before emo, screamo, shitmo, whatever you wanna call it. back when "depressing teenagers was like shooting fish in a barrel" and their medication was the original carnations of the smashing pumpkins, sonic youth, nine inch nails and nirvana. not any of these new band lineups. if you were there and you saw 'em back then, rad. if not, you're outta luck. leave the bands alone, and someone tell billy corgan to keep his dick out of the sacks of money. let it go. without james iha and d'arcy, the band is NOT THE SMASHING PUMPKINS. it's just another shitty billy corgan zwan-nabe mash up.

back on track... lollapalooza is and has been for the past, oh, 10 years, just a new way to leak thousands of dollars from the willing hands of hapless teens who wanna "experience the music, man!" at a festival where the "vibe is real" and "just being there is saying something." tough news, dudes, you gotta be at glastonbury to experience a real festival. no second-rate us fest can even match up. how can they by charging $5 for a bottle or water or $10 for a beer, and setting up booths for spin magazine every ten feet? if you're not wading in other people's shit (literally), not showering for 1+ week(s), using cow manure as a pillow for your head (if you even do sleep), then you're not "keeping it real" at a festival. no amount of 'shrooms is gonna "transport you there." you missed it. woodstock is over (or at least any trace of what it was has been shot to fuck). this isn't the 70s. we're not in leeds. even the artists know it's a shit sandwich, as they're raping and pillaging the wallets of teens in a corporate setting under the guise of "indie music."

whatever, this is nothing new. as long as people are willing to shill out the money, corporate rise and capitalistic funding is just gonna keep thriving. blah blah blah. i'm all about supporting the music. i buy merch, i buy cd's (me and like, 12 other people in the world), and i consume whatever else gets handed out that i am mildly interested in. that's all part of it. i just can't say i approve of those $15 falafels at coachella.

anyway, lolapalooza is still trying to garner the attention of teens in the midwest who still listen to pearl jam and know who mia is... so they've created a pretty simple way of getting the culturally hip and tragically indie 18-35 year old demographic's attention. check out the rad little corporate ploy to help them advertise. you can upload your face from any picture and put it on a spindly character's body (of your design) and have them dance to interpol or whatever the fuck other indie-but-not-really band you want to... providing of course that they are playing this year at lollapalooza. stupid? totally. simple minded? definitely. soft-shelled corporate advertising? uh-huh. effective? absolutely. i've already made myself 5.

everyone's always said i look like karen o...




here's a couple of other ones i did of myself...

glowsticks make the rave, not the raver

contrary to popular belief, you CAN actually breakdance to sparklehorse

and some of my friends...

cartoonist and author of peepshow, joe matt...

my roommate likes wearing my clothes (seriously)...

and some people that it just looked funny to do it to...

aaron north really slays it whenever he listens to amy winehouse... btw, nice chicken costume, brah...

and while i'm at it, might as well do the other half of buddyhead...

fat chicks love that dude from dfa

if you wanna make one yourself and didn't catch the link above, go to paloozahead.com and have fun sucking your life away for the next 6 hours, 'cos that's what i did...

i have the sense of humor of a 12 year old.