i'm sorry girl, but that ho was me...

it's not a secret that r. kelly's hip-hopera "trapped in the closet" is one of my favorite movie musicals ever. fuck that, it's probably one of my favorite movies ever period. even lucasfilm super-fan jeordie white (ak/a twiggy ramirez) stated "this is better than star wars!" upon his first viewing of the now classic cult flick. truer words were never spoken.

since it's initial release upon the world back in 2005, the phenomenon known as "trapped in the closet" has spread faster than hepatitis c at a tattoo convention. even my mom has seen it and asked "is this for real?" yes, mom, it's all real. or maybe it isn't. is r. kelly so completely absurd and out of his mind to think that this is what we as cinematic movie-goers want to see? or do we really want to believe that this man is so witty and intelligent that he created this all as a joke? the world will never know. what we do know, however, is that it's amazing, and nothing quite like it has even been created before, and anything since is just a cheap hack of the original. everyone from the upright citizen's brigade theater to weird al himself has parodied this defining piece of r&b music video achievement.

here's the kicker, though, what we've seen so far is only the first half of this amazing story. yes, never fear, while we were all left on the edge of our seats at the end of chapter 12... it's been reported that the second half of this pop culture staple will be release sometime in july of this year. check the trapped in the closet wiki for more info.

anyway, while you patiently wait for part two to continue forth with it's operatic tale of sex, lies, and midgets, check out r. kelly's you tube video channel. with (almost) daily updates from the guru of water sports and underage girls himself.

here's my personal favorite in which r. kelly explains his forthcoming album, "double up"'s intended incarnation as "makin' babies." check out the chick in the background braidin' his corn rows. she really looks like the last thing she wants to be doing is fixing up his skanky ass weave.



unbe-WEAVE-able.